Dear Time

I’ve always been so fascinated by you. I’ve always tried to imagine the beginning, only to wind up thinking about the end, without being able to pinpoint the transition between the two. We hear words such as: forever, eternity, infinite, everlasting… But they are still concepts of a period that isn’t tangible yet to any human being because you give so little of yourself to each of us.

Time, how can I understand you, when I only have you for so little? Everlastingly ticking, ticking, ticking, down to every millisecond, every breath, every blink, every heartbeat; you have kept track of it all!

Time, do you also like to tease us? Each of us tries to measure you to the best of our ability. “It wasn’t the right time,” we tell ourselves, “…The timing was all wrong…” or, “…The time will come.” But time, you’ve always just, been. Why do we treat you as though you come in various sizes, or as though you have gaps? Could you be a mask that we all use to cover up the restlessness; a mask to explain what we haven’t been able to own up to ourselves? Time, are you truly that accountable for everything that hasn’t worked out? For everything that hasn’t been resolved? You crush us with your ticking every time we lose count. The circumstances often rob you from us and we are angry when we lose more of you. In that way, you’re our greatest desire, but also our worst enemy.

Time, your ticking is the same for everybody. The Second for the rich person is the same length as the Second for the poor. We all share the same amount of hours in a day and days in a year. Yet, you move really fast when we’re full of joy, and move slow when we’re grieved. We can be doing something “at the same time”, but couldn’t be more different from the next person. I could be releasing tears of laughter during the same moment someone somewhere is releasing tears of pain.

I’m glad I’ve taken time to become who I am now. I’m also already grateful for the time I will use to become who I will be. That’s just it. You are just time: this never-ending ticking. Millions and billions of seconds have passed by before I even came to be. I’ve been nothing but a brief streak so far on the timeline of the universe, but this streak is jam-packed and saturated with curiosity.

Time, there’s so much I want to be able to do, so much I want to learn, and so many I want to love, but I need you to accomplish it. My heart yearns for the day we get to keep you forever; until The only One who can outlive you, will reconcile us for all eternity.

Love,

Andrea

(Eccl 3:11)

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