Back in 2017, I had this idea of a blog. 2016 was a darker year for me and I was determined to get better. I started to hear about more and more friends who had blogs, or were starting them so I thought, “why not!”. If I didn’t like it or couldn’t keep up with it, then I’ll just get rid of it.
I picked “Releasing Ropes” as a name, following a song I wrote which is also named Releasing Ropes (I’ll share the lyrics at the end of this post.) Anyway, back in 2016, I went through this weird depression where I felt trapped as well as feeling like there was so much I wanted to do but didn’t know exactly what, nor how. It was a very frustrating time and I wasn’t my best self. I dove deep into what I wanted to be and who I wanted to become, and evidently kept adding to her as the years went by.
Ropes are obviously symbolic. Really, we all need some kind of rope to make sure we have some sense of being grounded especially when we need to make big decisions. Ropes are things that become necessary in life, even if they are not what you necessarily want. An example is having a job that pays the bills and covers basic expenses or allow you to save up and supports you to do something else, despite the job not being something you love. Being in a place to be close to someone you love and someone who needs you to be there, despite it not being where you would like to be. Or staying somewhere for the time being that perhaps isn’t ideal, until you’re able to figure out exactly what is next… They are not your life, nor your future, but they’re needed for the time being. These are ropes I don’t mind because a lot of the time, it’s what is working right now, and they can even help you.
Still, the longer you stay without a plan, the tighter these “ropes” get and maybe you end up gaining more ropes that tie you down. Maybe that job that you don’t like too much wants to promote you for more work and money. Maybe you’ve been in one place for so long, that you fear leaving and failing. You fear the discomfort. Maybe it’s because your family is close by and decide to stay because you’re comfortable. Just in case you fail, at least they’ll still be close by and you won’t need to worry. Then you adapt the “no need for the unnecessary struggle of maybe messing up” mentality.
You see, those ropes are the ones I don’t want. I used to think that traveling was how I grew, and while that may still be true, it isn’t the only way. I grow every time I push my limits and leave my comfort zone. I don’t want comfort to be the only thing that stops me from doing more. Releasing ropes is about stepping out of that comfort zone and doing something that terrifies you and makes you feel uncomfortable because it’s going to make you grow. It’s meant to only have you gain, whether it be experience, lessons, skills, and even character.
For some time now, I’ve had this whole image of the person I want to become. The kind of person I want to be and slowly working on myself to become her. I don’t think this is a bad thing, but eventually, there’s only so much I could do. “..that man’s way does not belong to him. It does not belong to man who is walking even to direct his step” (Jeremiah 10:23) I’ve been thinking about how limited I am in my own dreaming and potential. It was a mold I created for myself unaware to the fact that I can’t see what I’m capable of to my full capacity, but Jehovah can! He knows what’s best for me and really, that whole image of the person I want to become, it’s probably nothing like who Jehovah knows I can become! In a weird realization, I’m actually limiting myself by trying to be the person I’ve been imagining, because the way Jehovah sees us, and knows us, is as unlimited as long as we keep relying on him. Maybe it won’t be in the ways we hoped, but our faith and character and being will be better because we have the ultimate guide to help us.
A lot has been changing. Internally, externally, emotionally… I’ve been letting go of the person that 2019 me was trying so hard to become. The world circumstance taught me that I have no control over what can or cannot happen, but Jehovah has the control to move us forward. Ironically, I’m releasing the very “rope” that originally lead me to start this blog in the first place, and attaching it to something beyond me.
I encourage you to do the same if you can! You won’t be let down, I’m sure of it.
Releasing Ropes
Let go of my ropes
for when I cut them
You will fall back,
Without any hope
Impossibilities tease me everyday
Don’t try to tie me down
I will not stay
I won’t give into conformity
I’m a hunter, with a dream
Everywhere I will be
beaming with adventure gleams
Don’t tell me what to love
and don’t tell me how to think
A future life, I’ve dreamed of
and there I will be
Explore every depth
Sail Every sea
Create my own footprints
so don’t try to conquer me
This quest is mine to take
No matter how much time
Release my ropes
I’ll find my place
There’s so much yet to climb
I won’t give into conformity
I’m a hunter, with a dream
Everywhere I will be
beaming with adventure gleams
Don’t tell me what to love
and don’t tell me how to think
A future life, I’ve dreamed of
and there I will be
Releasing Ropes 